Successfully Avoiding Anything Planned

New Website Offers 30-Minute Master of Divinity (MDiv30)

Now you can achieve a Master of Divinity in the time it takes you to stream your favorite show on Netflix thanks to Universal Monastery of the Milky Way.

According to the MDiv30 curriculum “provides a solid theological foundation for ministry leaders to successfully engage the local and global issues of our day in a variety of contexts.”

“We’ve been ordaining for years and now we’re proud to offer a strong educational component,” said President Ralph Willow. “We’ve condensed classes which would traditionally be 4-semester hours into 3-dynamic life enriching minutes.”

While students can choose from a broad range of Bible, Church History, and Spiritual Formation core classes and electives, a strong sense of call to invest a half hour online may look like:

UMMW 1201
Christian Traditions
3 Minutes
UMMW 1521
Intro to Old Testament
3 Minutes
UMMW 1630 
Outdoor Weddings
3 Minutes (Includes 30 sec. practicum)
UMMN 1910
3 Minutes
UMMW 2005
Medieval Church History
3 Minutes
UMMN 2270 
Solitude Aps for iPad
3 Minutes
UMMN 3255
Worship and the Arts
3 Minutes
UMMN 3304
Christian Ethics
3 Minutes
UMMN 1522
Intro to New Testament
3 Minutes
3 Minutes

“We know making a decision to pursue advanced training is not an easy one,” said Willow, “which is why halfway through completion we’ve included a 15-second session with one of our certified spiritual speed directors at no extra cost.”

Complete with a one-click graduation ceremony playing a choice of Doxology or Pomp and Circumstance and a printable diploma (frames available at extra charge), applications are accepted on a rolling basis.

Get In, Get Out, Get Blessing


About the author

I work as a chaplain and play as a comedian and singer-songwriter. My wife and I met in Chicago and recently moved to Portland, OR from Honolulu, HI. Our apartment doesn't allow pets, but we do have a framed picture of a sea turtle we've named Leroy.


  1. I’ve spent 28 years training men and women for service/ministry in a small, accredited Seminary in Hawaii. I never realized how easy it could have been. Instead of hours upon hours of study, classroom lectures, papers and final exams… I should have done what you just did. I could have taken those 28 years and squeezed them into … oh, say 6 months! Then I could have gone to Disneyland for the rest of the time!