Successfully Avoiding Anything Planned

New Website Offers 30-Minute Master of Divinity (MDiv30)

Now you can achieve a Master of Divinity in the time it takes you to stream your favorite show on Netflix thanks to Universal Monastery of the Milky Way.

According to the MDiv30 curriculum “provides a solid theological foundation for ministry leaders to successfully engage the local and global issues of our day in a variety of contexts.”

“We’ve been ordaining for years and now we’re proud to offer a strong educational component,” said President Ralph Willow. “We’ve condensed classes which would traditionally be 4-semester hours into 3-dynamic life enriching minutes.”

While students can choose from a broad range of Bible, Church History, and Spiritual Formation core classes and electives, a strong sense of call to invest a half hour online may look like:

UMMW 1201
Christian Traditions
3 Minutes
UMMW 1521
Intro to Old Testament
3 Minutes
UMMW 1630 
Outdoor Weddings
3 Minutes (Includes 30 sec. practicum)
UMMN 1910
3 Minutes
UMMW 2005
Medieval Church History
3 Minutes
UMMN 2270 
Solitude Aps for iPad
3 Minutes
UMMN 3255
Worship and the Arts
3 Minutes
UMMN 3304
Christian Ethics
3 Minutes
UMMN 1522
Intro to New Testament
3 Minutes
3 Minutes

“We know making a decision to pursue advanced training is not an easy one,” said Willow, “which is why halfway through completion we’ve included a 15-second session with one of our certified spiritual speed directors at no extra cost.”

Complete with a one-click graduation ceremony playing a choice of Doxology or Pomp and Circumstance and a printable diploma (frames available at extra charge), applications are accepted on a rolling basis.

Get In, Get Out, Get Blessing


About the author

I work as a chaplain and play as a comedian and singer-songwriter. My wife and I met in Chicago and have lived in Honolulu and Portland, OR. We now chase our 10lb chihuahau Dez around Santa Rosa, California.


  1. I’ve spent 28 years training men and women for service/ministry in a small, accredited Seminary in Hawaii. I never realized how easy it could have been. Instead of hours upon hours of study, classroom lectures, papers and final exams… I should have done what you just did. I could have taken those 28 years and squeezed them into … oh, say 6 months! Then I could have gone to Disneyland for the rest of the time!