Successfully Avoiding Anything Planned

39 to 40 (Day 1): One Doughnut at a Time 

Today I woke up and my wife Christi said “Happy Birthday! You’re 39!”

The first part I was excited about. Birthdays still remind me of cake and the roller rink and awkwardly singing the birthday song in staff meetings to people I don’t know.

The second part though, the 39 bit, whoa. Hold on, is that even possible? 39, that’s a year away from 40. I don’t care how many times you say 40 is the new 21 and cackle and high-five your friends and lift a drink to the sky,  40 is officially old. I’m no longer a Spring Chicken. I’m a Late Summer/Early Fall Chicken with only one place left to go: Winter Chicken.

I know I’m getting older because I have a daily regiment that includes trimming nose hairs taking a thyroid pill and spraying my feet. If I stop any of these things even for one day I will die. Fine I won’t die but I’ll have a hard time breathing through my nose, staying awake, and walking due to my sweaty dogs. Oh, that’s gross? You know what else is gross? Not being able to stop the hands of time! I’m 364 days away from 40!

You know what else is crazy? I woke up this morning for the first time as a resident of Portland, Oregon. 24 hours ago we lived in Honolulu. Oh you think I’m making this up? Just look at me 24 hours ago:

And look at me now:

Freezing with a creepy look on my face in a picture I’m kind of ashamed I even shared with you.

(That top picture is actually 6 months ago, you probably figured that it wasn’t really 24 hours ago, but I’m almost 40 so I don’t have time for ambiguity. Plus the beard.)

We looked at apartments today with these strange things in them:

On the reals, (an expression almost 40-year olds use to sound younger) we’re SO excited to be here. Living in Hawaii was amazing and we’re grateful for the opportunity to continue our careers, passions, and hopefully start a family in Portland. Christi is continuing her nursing career and I’m taking a sabbatical, a fancy word for “help I need a job.”

Can’t wait to explore the city, get together with friends, and see how this adventure unfolds.

I thank God for our time in Hawaii and want to learn how to walk in faith in greater ways. In other words, try not to freak out when I don’t have all the answers to what neighborhood we’re going to live in or what I’m going to do just yet.

Until then I plan on walking over a lot of bridges and eating plenty of doughnuts.

Today’s life lessons:

  • Don’t get lazy and copy and paste the same text to multiple people even if it’s your birthday. Today I called my mom Camille.
  • One doughnut per sitting is enough. You’ll try them all in good time.
  • If you have a maple bacon doughnut for lunch, plan on walking over a lengthly bridge to ensure your heart will continue to beat for years to come.



About the author

I work as a chaplain and play as a comedian and singer-songwriter. My wife and I met in Chicago and have lived in Honolulu and Portland, OR. We now chase our 10lb chihuahau Dez around Santa Rosa, California.