Successfully Avoiding Anything Planned


Summer of 1986. It was a confusing time for many stylistically.


Congratulations, You’ve made it this far.  I’m so glad you’re here.  With millions of websites out there to think you landed on this very page.  What are the chances?  Small, that’s what.  Minuscule really.  You’re getting board, I better type in bold and post a picture:




Don’t worry; I’ll be brief.  I’m probably dating myself by telling you this, but I was born in the Fall of 1977.  For my first Christmas, my parents placed me in this small boat and set me sailing toward New York City.  I landed in Decatur, IL.

To their credit, my family tried calling me Tony because Anthony contains a ridiculous amount of syllables.  Despite the Tony toolbox baptism,  Anthony it is.

Oh don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind Tony.  I’ve answered to many a name:  Tone,  Tone Lōc,  Ant-Dog,  T-Dawg,  T-Bone,  An-Tone,  Anchovy,  Ants,  Anth,  A-Train, T,  AT,  AT & T (I just made that one up),  Tha-knee,  Ant Honey,  Anfernee Hardaway,  Fat Tony,  Hey Bus Boy,  Tony Turbo (because my dad’s a slow runner),  Silanoooooo,  Silly,  Cilantro,  and most recently Hawk (hashtag “ka-kaw!”).  

I appreciate the variety.


Insert random pictures-o-life:

I’m the eldest of…that sounds old..I’m the first born of three boys now men called two brothers.  Broach for short.  As the sleeve suggests, we’re hardcore.


In November of 2006, I married my best friend Christi. We enjoy traveling, and if the occasion calls for it, we go blonde.


Christi and I met in Chicago and lived in Honolulu for ten years.  I know, rough. We moved to Portland, Oregon where I briefly roamed the Pacific Northwest like a balding Sasquatch and now reside in Santa Rosa, California.


Insert More Fun Facts

I went to North Park University and Theological Seminary in Chicago.  (I said FUN facts)

No, I’m not a Catholic Priest.  That should be obvious by now.  I’m a Jesus follower who often needs to catch up.  I work as a chaplain and play as a comedian.  I’ve made lots of loud music with friends over the years, annoying many neighbors, and hope to make more someday. (Sorry future neighbors)

One of the grossest parts of my job is seeing people kiss up close. Actually, it’s the BEST part of my job.


OK let’s land this plane already

My favorite board game is Monopoly, but only if I can be the thimble.

I’m the 2011 Week 2 Fantasy Football Champion of the Nash Kato Football League, and no one can pretend to take that away from me.

Thanks for stopping by.  

Please share your blog, art, a favorite joke, music, or just say hi below or through my contact page.




    1. Thank you Mr. Dynamite. Speaking of greats, do you think spiders are upset the internet stole their idea for the world wide web? Cheers.


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