It’s an odd thing, you know, to have vested powers…but apparently I do. I can’t fly. I can’t catch bad guys with a web that shoots from my wrist. I don’t have a cool spandex outfit complete with matching utility belt despite how badly I want one. But I can marry people. You don’t know how tempting it is to say the words “by the power vested in me” in a deep voice followed by a sinister laugh. That’ll make the mother of the bride happy.
Legally it seems anyone can possess these powers, whether you’ve gone to seminary or to Bob’s Internet Ordination Sale, but make no mistake…it’s not about you. That’s how powerful these powers are. It’s probably the only time in your life you can stand in the front of a room, with people fanned out in royal palace guard formation, and be virtually invisible. Let’s be honest, most people aren’t really even listening to your voice. They’re looking at the dress and thinking about the flowers and wondering if they’ll get to dance the Electric Slide at the reception and remembering what that groomsman looked like the night before and how miraculously he cleaned up. If you ask the majority of attendees what the wedding officiant actually said….well, don’t be surprised if they can’t quote you verbatim. They’ll say it was nice. That was so nice. Of course it was. Anything is nice set to Cannon in D. You could quote your favorite tax filing instruction to that classic piece and move grandma to tears. This is why I always give a copy of the ceremony to the couple afterwards. Not so they’ll remember what I said, but so someday they’ll read it again for the first time. “You mean he said all that?! Wow, that was so nice.”
It’s understandable, it’s a big day. THE big day.
It’s a high honor to officiate a wedding. I’ve only been married eight years myself, so it seems ludicrous I’d be the one up there leading two people into life-long commitment. But that’s what makes the task a special one. Everyone’s gathered in all of our humanity to convey our love and support to the couple as they proclaim their devotion to one another. It’s a beautiful thing to see what’s invisible in the hearts of two people expressed through words, music, the exchanging of rings, a kiss (hopefully a short one), an extended flute solo so long you wonder if you’ll celebrate your one-year anniversary before it ends,….and probably 1 Corinthians 13. Doves. Bubbles. Unity Candle. Sands of time…I mean the list goes on here friends. Satin chair covers….a DJ who insists on playing a remix of “It Takes Two” by Rob Base…it’s all there.
It always strikes me watching our wedding video that the day Christi and I were married is the only time in our lives that group of friends and family will ever be in the same room. Some we havn’t seen since. Some have passed away. It’s a testament of just how precious that day is. The statistics for lasting marriages are of course bleak. Which is why it’s so important to celebrate what’s honorable and true and hoped for in that moment together. To speak vows. To sing. To laugh. To pray. To eat cake and clang a champagne glass or two.
There’s a line I’ve used in weddings that always gets me a little choked up. It’s toward the end, I know it’s coming, so I try to focus on the overbearing perfume from bridesmaid #3 and press on.
May your love never fade, may you never take each other for granted, and when you are old, may you be found, hand in hand, still thanking God for each other.
A few times at wedding receptions I’ve seen the MC ask all the married couples to stand. One by one they’ll sit down until the couple who’s been married the longest remains standing. Normally it’s an elderly couple helping each other stay steady arm in arm as they receive a much deserved round of applause. It’s the perfect image for marriage. Life is going to be hard, we’re going to have to trust and lean on each other every step of the way. Let’s help each other and be faithful, and together we’ll be stronger.
I’m thankful that in some small way I get to be part of the beginning of that journey.
Bonus Feature
One of my favorite weddings was for my friends Marcus and Yoshiko. ( Unless you’re reading this and I did your wedding…then yours was my favorite…obviously.. ) Sometimes a wedding takes place under severe weather conditions, but no storm could spoil the beauty of this day. Despite the torrential downpour sweeping in at a moments notice, there was much joy and laughter as we pressed on. There was even a surprise ring delivery at the end:
Anthony, you should also add writer to your resume! Beautiful tribute for all to read! I enjoyed every word! God bless you and Christy.
I have been to two of the weddings that you officiated and I hope I will attend many more!!! love you!
awesome ants!!!
Thanks all!